Relating with People

As we get older in life, we network with people from different socio-cultural background and that comes with various beliefs, principles, lifestyles…

Dream, Teachers, Builders

Many of us have lived our lives based on our background and upbringing. This has however, influenced our mentality and perspective so much that adjusting becomes an issue. Perhaps, I should stress the issue, like say a very big issue. Transition in life is expedient and it comes in many ways. So, what happens when things that naturally won’t be an issue becomes one? We have become so addicted to the norm that we fail to observe the new environment, circumstances, situations, people, etc., around us. We just keep living our lives as if nothing has changed.


Everyone knows that change, a variable, yet a major constant in our world today. Don’t mind me, my mathematics background will always want to show itself. Smile. Every stage comes with a new package that we are supposed to be conversant with. Still, majority still live in the shadow of their past and complain of not progressing.

As we get older in life, we network with people from different socio-cultural background and that comes with various beliefs, principles, lifestyles. Thus, if you must get along well, you must let go of SELF. Okay, by SELF, I innocently mean to become more flexible in your thinking.

Abigael Ibikunle 2018


It, therefore, becomes apposite for you to ignore some things in order to welcome certain things which will give you the ability to forbear other things. Forbearing doesn’t mean loss or foolishness but it opens your eyes and build you collaborative spirit. And this in turns sets you in a place where nothing comes back to you as a surprise.

Moreover, every adjustment cum transition comes in with loads of pleasant and unpleasant surprises. These surprises can however not be overemphasised.

While I continue my lecture, let me ask you this question.

Are you attentive to these signs when relating with people?

When we talk of attentiveness, it is not only needful in work. It is usable in everything that concerns us. Talk of paying the slightest attention to feelings, reactions, the silent but very loud words, loud but extremely silent responses. Name them. Try not to be blind to gestures and reactions when relating with people.

As an individual, you should know when you’re wanted and when you’re needed. You should be attentive to know when you are welcomed when you visit.

Be very observant to know when you are not welcomed in a place. This may not often be because you did something bad. It could simply be because, at that point, the atmosphere staring at you depicts an invasion or disruption of privacy.

The signs and signals are always evident in countenance and reactions. Still, some people will just deliberately be the humans that they are. And this in turn causes discomfort to others.

How well do you know when your talks disturb a person than please them? You should know these things. Learn to observe!

When your presence bores someone, you shouldn’t need anyone to tell you to excuse yourself. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it only tells you that they appreciate your absence at that time more than your presence. It’s basic logic.

If we all understood basic communication tips, life would be a better place to live. But then, that would also make the world a very boring place to live. Hahahaha!

So, here’s the point,

You would probably be wondering why this lecture. Some can read the signs, some can’t. A number of people can draw the line, some cannot. It goes a long way to show our uniqueness and differences as individuals. Some will become deliberate in their effort to be attentive to feelings, countenances, reactions, silence and many more things there is to be attentive to. But guess what, those that will still remain blind will still be. My free advice, speak out when their excesses becomes intolerable for you.

It is not a crime not to know that you’re doing something that causes discomfort or invasion. The crime is when you are made to realise and you do nothing about it. A very big kudos to those who understand these major aspects of communication. Thumbs up to those who are making effort to be better at it, even in terms of expression.

Play when there is need to and refrain yourselves when the need arises. Know when to play, visit, talk carelessly, loosen up in another person’s domicile and space.

Pay attention to know when to excuse yourself even if you just stepped in, when to drop a call even if you just made the call.

Abigael Ibikunle 2018

Be sensitive to know when to reject an attractive offer and when to accept an unpresentable offer. Know when to smile and when to be uptight. Excuse me, know when your presence is needed and appreciated and when it discomforts people.

Finally, my people, we are all humans and lasslass, we will all be alright.
Thank you for journeying with me on this lecture. Smile! Hope it made sense? Please, share your thoughts on this piece.

Author: Abigael Ibikunle

I am a lover of people and nature.. A passionate educator who enjoys public speaking. A writer whose writing can be triggered by any and everything... Abigaelibikunle@gmail.com

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