Children are natural talkers, don’t shun them- AT
Recently, I had cause to keep some children in my house when they got back from school because their mothers were not home while they were dropped from school. As a neutral person, I didn’t think it was an issue helping them, at least that would keep them from staying in the sun.
However, few minutes in my house, I realized the gravity of my thoughtlessness in rendering such assistance. As a virtual assistant, I work mostly from home and so I was always home, busy with my system or doing one thing or the other. I cherish my privacy, serenity and most importantly quietness like no man’s business. But, how can I even enjoy all these with two playful children and one who wouldn’t even stop crying. Gosh! I felt like screaming my mind out.
Suddenly, I remembered the times I visited my sister and had to stay with my niblings whenever my sister and her husband went out. Ah, ah! The reality hit differently. Of course, it was uncomfortable at first but I soon got used to them. Their endless talks bored me but for my sanity, I would keep my cool and give listening ears. Later, it started becoming interesting and enjoyable because I started relating with their talks, in their levels. In simple words, I also became a small child to understand how they felt. And in no time, we were buddies. Whenever I made to leave, their questions would be, when are you coming back? I would smile and say, very soon!
Why all these tales? You see, children are natural great talkers. The interesting but funny thing however is, they do not know whether you’re in the mood to listen or not. As far as they’re concerned, they just want to talk, express themselves at the moment. Will they end up boring you with their talks? Of course! Do you then shun them? Of course, not. So, what should you do? Good question!
You see, every adult was once a child and so you must understand that children are wired like that. It’s an exciting phase for them and how you manage that phase determines what they turn out to be. If a child would remain outspoken, it is dependent on how you manage their curiosity. Shunning an excited child who is trying to explore curiosity, openness or even confidence is teaching s/he to withdraw and keep to himself or herself.
Someone would probably say, you do not know how my normal day is. My child always wants to talk at the wrong time. Well, there is never a wrong time to talk or give a listening ear to a child no matter how irrelevant you think the talks are. What can you do instead? You can start by showing interest in the talk and then try to persuade such child for further discussion later when you’re less busy. That way, you have given the child a listening impression even in your very busy situation. Children understand signals and they read your non-verbal cues as well.
You also have to ensure it’s not a usual escape route. Sometimes, be patient till the end and nod even when you can’t comprehend what they’re saying. That way, you make them feel welcomed to discuss anything with you. Do you have an inquisitive child? Is your child bugging you with endless talks? Try the listening method instead of the shunning method. You will discover that with time, you will enjoy their talks. And, you will be the one to miss them when they’re not talking.
Children are natural talkers, don’t shut them out by shunning them. Give them a listening ear.
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